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I spent like two? Three? Entire weeks with this sitting in my askbox and I just. I got nothing. What could I possibly answer? I tried all the “nope” gifs in this god forsaken website, I tried to draw what my face looks like every time I read this, I tried to find fanart of jar jar with his wang out and the universe was kind enough to me so that I couldn’t find any. I got nothing. Nada. Abso-fucking-lutely nothing. What am I gonna say? What in god’s name am I gonna say to that?!
You see, I wanna fuck general grievous. I do. I want him use all his four arms to simultaneously pull both my arms back and touch my tits as he fucks me with his mecha-schlong. I do. I wanna fuck darth Maul, pre-legs cut off or post metal legs+metal dick enhancement. I wanna lick those horns. Okay? I wanna fuck darth vader. Boy, oh, boy, I do. I wanna hear that hard breathing and wrap my legs over that dramatic cape while he force-chokes me and we do the do. Am I a weird robot-fucker? You bet your ass I am! Am I a tad too much on the horny side? Probably. Did I extrapolate my right to be horny on main? Fucking sue me. But this. THIS.
How do you want me to face my family and all the three (3) friends I have irl? How do you want me to walk into an elevator with a bunch of strangers and when an old lady says “the weather has been a little hot lately, isn’t it weird?” just to do small talk like every fucking old people I don’t know do, how do you expect me not to answer her with “y’know what’s weirder, someone at this very moment is thinking about Jar Jar Binks going balls-deep in them and I cannot talk about this to anyone and the knowledge of this? it’s eating me alive. ALIVE, ma’am, and I don’t mean this as some sick vore reference. Someone’s dreaming of those popped-up eyes, of that weird high-pitched voice screaming MEESA COMING while they’re filled up by Jar Jar Bink’s thick seed, and I’m just standing here while this very notion rots me to the core, taking all life away from me. It’s a nightmare. My entire life, a nightmare, because of an anon message from a horny jar jar fucker on tumblr. This is my floor now, ma’am, have a good day”
I leave the elevator. I probably have an appointment, but I can’t remember where, or what for. I sit down on the floor by the elevator doors. I sob for a full minute. I take the elevator back downstairs, I walk home, I collapse in bed and rub one out thinking of darth vader. I feel better.
Five minutes later, I think about this ask again, and my whole world collapses again. It’s only Tuesday. I sigh heavily and sit down to write this reply.
-
Edit: a lot of this is exaggeration. Some of it is true. You get to pick what exactly.
The simple thought that the jar jar anon exists in the same world as we do gives me shivers. I bet that if I look upon them, whoever they are, I will die instantly.
Replies hall of fame
+ bonus (someone that should be feared):
I’m sure that somebody has probably pointed it out already, but there is officially published material in one of the art books of naked Jar Jar, and he’s like a Ken Doll down there:
@kaijutegu ever heard of a cloaca? Jar jar is a reptile.
Nope, Gungans are amphibians! Amphibians, while in possession of a cloaca, are not in possession of dicks. They just don’t work that way. When amphibians reproduce, they do something called a cloacal kiss, where the male ejects sperm directly into the female. Tailed frogs do have an extendible cloaca that can help propel the sperm into the other cloaca, and sometimes it comes out in packets, but amphibians have no penises. Jar Jar is packing absolutely nothing.
Also, having a cloaca doesn’t necessarily mean you don’t have a dick. Lizards have two dicks tucked up inside their cloacas. But amphibians just don’t work that way. Frogs, salamanders, Gungans? Dickless wonders the lot of ‘em.
There goes anon’s hopes and dreams
more importantly, why would even want Jar Jar to have a dick when we’ve seen their tongue game in such excruciating detail in the films? I’m a lesbian and am repulsed by men and even I’d consider getting cleaned out by it
What the absolute fuck did I read? I just woke up, and I get hit with a jar jar dick debate….
Every day and every night, I am reminded by this site that language is a concept humans have created and that words have meaning. I am reminded every day and every night of this fact viciously and brutally by this site. We should have never crawled out of the sea.
i decided to make a masterlist of photoshop resources, for those who want to start making graphics or are looking for new ways to create graphics! there’s download links, tutorials, textures, psds, and other helpful resources.
Are you interested in watching Adventure Time, but intimidated by the thought of watching 252 episodes? Have you watched the series before, but want to watch again without any filler episodes (unless it’s Bubbline, of course)? This is for you!
After seeing a request in the ATimers tag, I have compiled a list of all the Adventure Time episodes that contain major plot, important backstory, major characterization, and/or Bubbline moments. I have also included optional episodes that I think will increase your understanding/enjoyment of the show (I put the reason next to it; if it says something about being an arc, backstory, characterization, etc., be warned that not watching may make the major plot points of the show a bit more confusing for you).
I condensed the show down to 128 of the 10-minute episodes (69 episodes if you don’t watch any of the optional episodes). Optional episodes are in italics. Episodes with Bubbline moments, characterization of Marcy/Princess Bubblegum (PB), or major backstory/plot related to Marcy/PB are in bold. Anything with a an asterisk (*) can be watched at any time (order doesn’t matter, though you may still want to watch it in the same season).
I hope this helps someone out since I spent three hours putting it together! Without further ado…
Season 1
1 x 2 “Trouble in Lumpy Space” | Introduces LSP
1 x 3 “Prisoners of Love” | Introduces the Ice King
1 x 5 “The Enchiridion”
1 x 9 “My Two Favorite People” | Introduces Jake & Lady Rainacorn (LR) arc
1 x 10 “Memories of Boom Boom Mountain”
1 x 12 “Evicted”
1 x 15 “What is Life?” | Introduces NEPTR + Ice King characterization
1 x 16 “Ocean of Fear” | Finn characterization
1 x 17 “When Wedding Bells Thaw” | Ice King characterization
1 x 20 “Freak City” | Introduces Magic Man
1 x 22 “Henchman”
1 x 24 “What Have You Done?” | Ice King characterization (*)
1 x 25 “His Hero”
Season 2
2 x 1 “It Came from the Nightosphere”
2 x 2 “The Eyes” | Ice King characterization
2 x 3 “Loyalty to the King” | Ice King characterization
2 x 6 “Slow Love” | Just a funny/cute episode (*)
2 x 7 “Power Animal” | Establishes more of Adventure Time universe
2 x 10 “To Cut a Woman’s Hair”
2 x 11 “Chamber of Frozen Blades” | Ice King characterization (*)
2 x 12 “Her Parents” | Jake and Lady Rainacorn (LR) arc
2 x 15 “The Real You”
2 x 17 “Death in Bloom” | Establishes more of the AT universe
2 x 18 “Susan Strong” | Introduces Susan Strong arc
2 x 20 “Go with Me” | Subtle Bubbline
2 x 24 “Mortal Folly”
2 x 25 “Mortal Recoil”
2 x 26 “Heat Signature”
Season 3
3 x 3 “Memory of a Memory”
3 x 5 “Too Young”
3 x 6 “The Monster” | LSP characterization/general cuteness (*)
3 x 7 “Still” | Ice King characterization
3 x 9 “Fiona and Cake” | Gender bending episode (*)
3 x 10 “What was Missing”
3 x 14 “Beautopia” | Susan Strong arc continues
3 x 17 “Thank You” | Not vital to plot, but adorable (*)
3 x 18 “Apple Thief” | Not vital to plot, but a favorite (*)
3 x 19 “Holly Jolly Secrets Pt. 1”
3 X 20 “Holly Jolly Secrets Pt. 2″
3 x 21 “Marceline’s Closet”
3 x 25 “Dad’s Dungeon” | Finn and Jake background
3 x 26 “Incendium” | Flame Princess Arc
Season 4
4 x 1 “Hot to the Touch” | Flame Princess arc
4 x 2 “Five Short Graybles” | Established more of AT universe (*)
4 x 5 “Return to the Nightsophere”
4 x 6 “Daddy’s Little Monster”
4 x 8 “Hug Wolf” | Generally cute (*)
4 x 9 “Princess Monster Wife” | Ice King characterization + great episode
4 x 10 Goliad
4 x 11 “Beyond this Earthly Realm” | Ice King characterization
4 x 13 “Princess Cookie” | Generally cute
4 x 15 “Sons of Mars” | Established more of AT universe
5 x 5 “All the Little People” | Cool and very slight Bubbline cameo
5 x 9 “All Your Fault”
5 x 11 “Bad Little Boy”| Gender bending + Marcy/Ice King development
5 x 12 “Vault of Bones” | Flame Princess arc
5 x 14 “Simon and Marcy”
5 x 16 “Puhoy” | Flame Princess arc
5 x 17 “BMO Lost” | SO ADORABLE. If you don’t watch you’re missing out (*)
5 x 18 “Princess Potluck” | Ice King characterization (*)
5 x 20 “Shh!” | Established more AT universe and is cute/neat (*)
5 x 21 “The Suitor”
5 x 22 “The Party’s Over, Isla de Senorita” | Ice King character development
5 x 23 “One Last Job” | Jake character development
5 x 26 “Wizards Only, Fools”
5 x 28 “Be More” | BMO backstory (*)
5 x 29 “Sky Witch”
5 x 30 “Frost and Fire” | Flame Princess arc
5 x 31 “Too Old”
5 x 32 “Earth and Water”
5 x 33 “Time Sandwich”
5 x 34 “The Vault"
5 x 38 “Red Starved”
5 x 40 “Play Date” | Finn character development
5 x 41 “The Pit” | Finn character development
5 x 45 “Blade of Grass”
5 x 46 “Rattleballs” | Finn character development
5 x 47 “The Red Throne” | Flame Princess arc
5 x 48 “Betty”
5 x 50 “Lemonhope Pt. 1″
5 x 51 “Lemonhope Pt. 2″
5 x 52 “Billy’s Bucket List”
Season 6
6 x 1 “Wake Up”
6 x 2 “Escape from the Citadel”
6 x 4 “The Tower” | Finn character development
6 x 6 “Breezy”
6 x 9 “The Prince Who Wanted Everything | Gender bending (*)
6 x 10 “Something Big”
6 x 12 “Ocarina” | Jake character development
6 x 14 “Princess Day”
6 x 16 “Joshua and Margaret Investigate”
6 x 19 “Is That You?” | Flame Princess arc
6 x 22 “The Cooler” | Flame Princess arc
6 x 23 “The Pajama War”
6 x 24 “Evergreen”
6 x 25 “Astral Plane” | Martin arc
6 x 26 “Gold Stars” | Lich arc
6 x 27 “The Visitor” | Martin arc
6 x 28 “The Mountain” | Flame Princess arc + Lemongrab characterization
6 x 29 “Dark Purple” | Susan Strong arc
6 x 32 “Friends Forever” | Ice King characterization
6 x 35 “Graybles 1000+” | Foreshadowing
6 x 38 “You Forgot Your Floaties”
6 x 39 “Be Sweet” | Lich arc + LSP character development
6 x 40 “Orgalorg”
6 x 42 “Hot Diggity Doom”
6 x 43 “The Comet”
Season 7
7 x 1 “Bonnie & Neddy”
7 x 2 “Varmits”
7 x 4 “Mama Said” | Finn/Jake character development
7 x 5 “Football” | Adorable BMO (*)
7 x 6 “Marceline the Vampire Queen”
7 x 7 “Everything Stays”
7 x 8 “Vamps About”
7 x 9 “The Empress Eyes”
7 x 10 “May I Come In?”
7 x 11 “Take Her Back”
7 x 12 “Checkmate”
7 x 13 “The Dark Cloud”
7 x 14 “The More You Moe, The Moe You Know (Part I)” | BMO arc
7 x 15 “The More you Moe, The Moe You Know (Part II)” | BMO arc
7 x 18 “President Porpoise is Missing!” | Adorable + Marcy cameo
7 x 21 “King’s Ransom”
7 x 25 “Flute Spell” | Introduces Huntress Wizard
7 x 26 “The Thin Yellow Line”
7 x 27 “Broke His Crown”
7 x 28 “Don’t Look”
7 x 29 “Beyond the Grotto” | Established more AT universe/cool (*)
7 x 30 “Lady Rainacorn of the Crystal Dimension” | LR backstory (*)
7 x 31 “I am a Sword”
7 x 33 “Normal Man”
7 x 34 “Elemental”
7 x 35 “Five Short Tables” | Gender bending (*)
7 x 36 “The Music Hole”
7 x 38 “Preboot”
7 x 39 “Reboot”
Season 8
8 x 1 “Two Swords”
8 x 2 “Do No Harm”
8 x 3 “Wheels” | Jake characterization/background (*)
8 x 4 “High Strangeness”
8 x 6 “Jelly Beans Have Powers”
8 x 7 “The Invitation”
8 x 8 “Whipple the Happy Dragon”
8 x 9 “Mysterious Island”
8 x 10 “Imaginary Resources”
8 x 11 “Hide and Seek”
8 x 12 “Min and Marty”
8 x 13 “Helpers”
8 x 14 “The Light Cloud”
Want to dress more like your favorite lesbian vampire? Follow Modern Marcy for affordable fashion finds inspired by Adventure Time (along with a lot of fanart, fan theory, and general posts about the show and its characters!)
Since I’ve already drew pokemon teams for Kaito/KID before, and that the original prompt list did say to draw x as pokemon; I drew kaito as a few pokemon lol-
Abilities and appearance-wise, zorua is quite fitting for Kaito; not so much for KID however. Which was why I picked cosmog and full moon lunala, since KID does fly with his glider and the whole moon symbolism.
You know what I’d like to see? Shinichi being Shinichi again but failing miserably at it
I mean like a fic idea where the apoptoxin cure is found but Shinichi is just a total disaster at being grown-up again. Here’s my idea, but of course there must be Kaito, so the setup would be something like this:
The Black Org is done with. Kaito’s gunmen going down too is optional. In that case, Kaito still organizes heists bc they’re fun, and a nice way to expose forgeries and his targets’ dirty laundry. Haibara is close to the cure, so the number of tests increase and Conan gets to be Shinichi more often. Mostly he stays hidden and under observation, preparing to return to his former life. Haibara, for once spending more than a few hours in Shinichi’s presence, soon realizes that this. Was. Not. Going. To. Work.
Shinichi is terrible at being Shinichi. He keeps slipping into a high voice and waving his arms, not even to draw attention to himself but because that’s what kids normally do in any interaction. He keeps doing a hundred different Conan-typical things, and on him it just looks weird. Anyone of his friends, heck his classmates, would see something’s up.
Also, Ran has not been told about the double identity debacle because frankly she’ll fucking eviscerate him if that ever comes to light. Haibara gently insinuates Shinichi is a dead man if he straight-up returns to living at the Kudo mansion and spends more than a week in Ran’s presence. Shinichi demands a second opinion. Agasa agrees. Hattori comes over and gives a thumbs down. His parents visit and give the death verdict in like 30 seconds flat.
Shinichi: “How even-”
Yuusaku, hand on Shinichi’s arm like he’s talking to a slow child: “Son, you’re sitting on the counter swinging you legs and holding a cup with two hands. A cup.”
So it’s decided Shinichi needs time to readjust, and a new place to do it at. In fact, there’s a whole list of requirements:
a different school so his behavior can be passed off as quirks or a recovering head injury or something
a residence a bit away from Beika, they can’t have Ran meeting with him every day
he needs someone to help him catch up in school
that someone should preferably be sharing the same workload and even class so they can keep an eye on Shinichi
+ if they can find someone who can be passed off as a cousin
+++ if that someone is quirky enough themselves that Shinichi will not rank as the biggest weirdo in class
+++++ if it’s someone who can understand the situation and keep secrets
Shinichi’s parents exchange a look and are like ‘whatvs, might as well’ and make some calls. Shinichi’s story is that he’s been working on a big case while also becoming a target, so he had to lay low and put his life on hold and just as they cracked the case open he received a head injury so he’s recovering at a cousin’s in Ekoda. Conan went back to America. Everyone in Beika more or less buys the story.
Predictably, it only takes one glance for Shinichi and Kaito to have realizations. Yuusaku and Yukiko are having the time of their life watching shit hit the fan. Eventually things calm down, Shinichi could already care less about arresting KID (he’s just in it for the chase), Kaito spends like 10 minutes in the presence of a calm Shinichi before he sees that oh boy this guy needs some serious behavior adjustments and reluctantly agrees to a housemate, while Shinichi questions what life choices led to Kaito KID, of all people,making sure he appears normal. I mean okay, maybe Kuroba hides his KID persona under a facade of a normal- nope, he’s just as extra. How is this his life.
Anyway, this was all the setup. What I wanna talk about is the shenanigans Shinichi gets into and the “quirks” he’s gonna have. Here are some! (Feel free to add ideas, maybe you’ll inspire me or we inspire a third party to write). Okay, here go the Conan things Shinichi keeps doing:
holds beverages with two hands
speaks in a high voice and simplifies his speech
slips and calls people his age nii-san or nee-chan
“A-re-re!!!”
“I saw it on TV! …Wait no, Hawai- no! Uhm.”
holds conversations with his whole body (swinging and waving hands, swinging back and forth on his feet, enthusiastic nods, smiles too wide, scuffs shoes, pouts, hand gestures, hand clapping)
once there was a thing on a high shelf and he kept hopping in place until Kaito asked what his problem is, Shinichi is mortified bc he was waiting on The Adult to notice his struggles and help
covers behind people to avoid attention, which looks ridiculous since he’s the same height as most of them
when there’s a problem to solve, he keeps nudging other people instead of just providing the answer himself
fails a few exams at first bc he’s not used to doing so many complex academic questions in such a short time
his hand hurts from taking notes in class
combine a suddenly high-school workload with having to catch up on the missed material and he’s exhausted and napping all the time
the first time there was a roll call, he raised his hand and shouted “Haaaaiiii!” in a really high voice. Instant embarrassment, but also helped everyone in class establish that he is indeed suffering the effects of some head injury and they need to be Understanding and Considerate
trips sometimes bc long legs
keeps fidgeting with his legs when he’s sitting, not used to them touching the ground
on that note, sits cross-legged anywhere he can, including school chair
Shinichi leaning back in chairs and being surprised when his head isn’t supported
Shinichi trying to hide how he went to sit knee first, like he was gonna climb the chair
the confusion on his face when he sat on some thin surface and it couldn’t hold his weight. Kaito laughed for days
throws himself on couches and beds, breaks the bed support at least once
“Shinichi, you have bruises on your butt.” “Well excuse me if I forgot, normally when I fall on it it’s not that high- don’t laugh!”
Shinichi, butt sticking out of a vent where he was trying to reach a lost cat: “I may have miscalculated.”
tugs on people’s clothes when he wants to get their attention, also keeps leaning in to whisper in their ear jfc Shinichi
must not hold hands when leaving house, must not hold hands to keep together in large crowds
keeps running/skipping to places if he’s excited
generally has to stop from skipping when in a group bc he has long legs now, he can keep up by just walking
keeps squinting at everything, bc it’s not that easy to get rid of glasses even if you didn’t have a prescription
on that note, eyes keep watering bc he’s gotten used to the UV protected lenses
eyes also water from the wind
also he always forgets to squint if he’s going through some shrubbery or cobwebs, and then suffers when it pokes him the eyes
he either keeps adjusting his nonexistent glasses or Kaito has to pluck them off his face bc he forgets he should not be wearing them
asks someone to hand him something already within reach
drags a chair over so he can stand on it while washing dishes
“Shinichi, why did you put all your clothes on the bottom part of the wardrobe?”
“Fix my skateboard, the battery goes out twice as fast.” “Yes, because you’re twice as heavy.”
just out of nowhere starts (very badly) humming kids’ songs
gets ridiculously happy about his morning coffee, black no sugar
“You need to eat more vegetables, Kaito.” “Oh my god you’ve been brainwashed.”
actually tries the puppy eyes on people. Sometimes it works.
forgets to shave
may ask Kaito for waxing tips because it’s weird to see so much hair on his legs and living with Kaito just might be skewing his perception of normal
Shinichi, like, finding nothing weird about responding to a classmate’s plea through a bathroom door and going to retrieve her school bag with pads in it
has to be reminded to pay for himself when in company
“Kudo-san, where are you going? That’s the kids’ section. The men’s department is this way.”
“No sir, that ticket price is for children up to 12.”
gradeschoolers love him and somehow he usurps Agasa as the Detective Boys’ favorite hangout person
somehow gets on great with Aoko and her 3rd person speech
Hakuba can’t decide if he’s a genius or brain-damaged (probably both)
Akako can’t decide if he’s a death god adept at concealing his magic or just the bitch of one
Ekoda and Beika police throw down at a KID heist at 3am over which days they get Shinichi’s detective skills. Beika wins custody battle on the grounds that Ekoda already has two mascots while they lost one
Ran is glad her friend is back, but she hopes he gets well soon because that head injury really messed him up
Sonoko dislikes Kaito on first sight, ever since he first tried to win her over with “such a cheap party trick, he thinks I’ll fall for just any magician"
Edit (i can’t believe i didn’t think of this sooner): his go-to defense at point zero is still kicking people in the shin. Kaito has a ‘no injury’ policy but he’s considering making an exception just so Shinichi can feel the difference between a child kicking you in indignation versus a full grown football player
While it would probably be useless, I felt like doing it.
Kudo Shinichi: Shinichi’s speech differs due to the situation. While he is in his ‘detective mode’, Shinichi tends to use very pretentious words and lines, while his grammar (verbs and adjectives) is completely perfect. P.5 of Vol.1 shows that he uses honorifics and polite/neutral pronoun ‘anata’. His speech is polite, he uses ’tekudasai’. But in P.7 we can he him slipping to his ‘usual’ mode, and ’anata’ becomes ’anta, ’desu’ - ’da’. While sadly we can’t properly transfer the changes of ‘an(a)ta’ and other grammar markings, translators can chose the most pretentious-sounding words for his ‘detective mode’ As for ‘usual’ mode, Shinichi speech changes:
Shinichi tends to shorten verbs and adjectives, i.e. okotteiru => okotteru, warui => wari-, sugoi => suge to make it sound ‘rough’. As for another changes: ‘nai’ changes to ‘ne-’. Sometimes he ends sentences with ‘ze’ or ‘yo’ but most of the times he just leaves the end ‘hanging’ (i.e. nan no koto?). He doesn’t use honorifics with Ran (obviously), but uses one with Kogoro: Ran’s too-san. While correct and polite form is otoo-san, he still gives him some respect. Shinichi also uses ’kaa-san’ for Yukiko. Wandering away from Shinichi, Ranma, another teenage guy, uses ’fukuro’ for his mother. Kaito also uses kaa-san with his mom, but ’oyaji’ with dad. Which, by the way, Shinichi never uses. Shinichi uses only ’too-san’ for his dad.
Shinichi’s trademark ba-ro is obviously a shorten version of baka yaro. In his thoughts he also uses ‘koitsu’ (i.e. for Gin) and ‘aitsu’ (sometimes for Ran). For BO he uses ‘yatsura’. English equivalent is well… bastard?
Shinichi addresses as ‘anta’ or ‘omae’s ‘rough’ version - ‘omee’.
So, in English we probably can use slang and ‘…in’ ’ endings for adjectives. As for his parents, while I tend to use all the original honorifics, I suppose kaa-san is more like ‘mother’ than ‘mom’. Sadly, English language can’t transfer every speech habit of every character, and Japanese is much more brighter for that.
